это не моё. хотя и очень похоже. просто сильно зацепило...
www.experienceproject.com/confessions.php?cid=4...

I don't know where to begin this because inside of me, it is all connected. I cannot touch one part without coming into contact with the rest.
I love you. I only resent that my heart is dependent on you because it becomes very difficult to function when I have to go long periods of time without seeing you or talking to you.
I don't know how to say what it is that I feel exactly, but I know that I would do almost anything to make you happy, including forgive you for hurting me by brushing me aside.
I hate how my heart cries and bleeds when you don't recognize it. My heart has been calling your name for more than seven years. I've tried walking away. I've tried to rationalize my way out of it. I've tried to tell myself that you had found or were looking for someone you thought was better for you.
....Then I listen to you, and your voice makes every part of my body convulse with mixed pleasure and pain. Your laughter is more precious to me than any possessions the world could offer me. I have on many occasions put myself through hearing you out, receiving the little stabs that come with that as I am reminded that you don't see me the way I see you, but I have done that to soothe you, to reach to you, to let you know that I'm here... That you are precious to me.
I wish that you could see yourself through my eyes, because you wouldn't look down at yourself again. The smile would never leave your face because you'd know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were loved in a way that doesn't end, despite many obstacles. You'd never feel lonely because you'd know that you ALWAYS had someone to turn to. You wouldn't be afraid of yourself or of your "flaws", because you'd know they were accepted.
I don't know how else I can make it clear... If this were going to go away, it would have gone away two years ago. I'm not trying to say that this is about proving myself to you either, or convincing you to love me. I know what unrequited love is. The part that makes me bleed more is that I have other options, people who would be with me in a heartbeat. ....I hate hurting other people, but how can I even look at them because when I do, all I hear is you calling me... My heart knows no other master.