понедельник, 28 ноября 2011
воскресенье, 27 ноября 2011
this is so strange. am i falling out of it? i don't feel anything. or is it a medicine i take? i feel no desire at all in myself for anything. for nobody.
dead and numb again. perhaps it's my destiny
dead and numb again. perhaps it's my destiny
четверг, 24 ноября 2011
ya hochu spaaaaaat. O Lord. You are so lovely.
ya nachala prinimat tabletki ot allergii. dve v den. i oni kazhetsya nachali deystvovat. segodnya s utra bila lyogkaya ustalost i pofigizm. mne eto dazhe nravilos. potomu chto chuvstva pritupilis. ni tebe ni K, ni drugogo.. bilo spokoyno i dazhe otvratitelno ot misli o tom chto nado o kom to mechtat, i ne privedi Gospod dazhe dumat o vzaimnosti.
a teper ya prosto hochu spat. SPAT.
u menya konkretno zakrivayutsya glaza. i esli bi ya vodila mashinu, za rul ya bi ne sela.
bistrey bi domoy i shmyaknutsya na krovatku...
ya nachala prinimat tabletki ot allergii. dve v den. i oni kazhetsya nachali deystvovat. segodnya s utra bila lyogkaya ustalost i pofigizm. mne eto dazhe nravilos. potomu chto chuvstva pritupilis. ni tebe ni K, ni drugogo.. bilo spokoyno i dazhe otvratitelno ot misli o tom chto nado o kom to mechtat, i ne privedi Gospod dazhe dumat o vzaimnosti.
a teper ya prosto hochu spat. SPAT.
u menya konkretno zakrivayutsya glaza. i esli bi ya vodila mashinu, za rul ya bi ne sela.
bistrey bi domoy i shmyaknutsya na krovatku...
среда, 23 ноября 2011
mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno! mne holodno!
вторник, 22 ноября 2011
chestnoe slovo, nadoelo dumat. dumat vse eti misli, perevarivat, vspominat, razbiratsya. prosto hochetsya delat to, chto hochetsya. naprimer seychas opyat hochetsya shokoladu.
eshe bolshe hotelos porevet. no uzhe proshlo.
ot misley prosto toshnit uzhe. takoe gniloe chuvstvo v grudi. zachem nam vobshe chuvstva. ya hochu bit bezchuvstvennoy. ne v tom smilse v kotorom eto zvuchit v russkom yazike. a v smisle EMOTIONLESS. ne lyubit, ne nenavidet.
pochemu eto proishodit. pochemu? skolko mozhno terzat sebya. ya ustala ot etogo mesta. zdes dlya menya odna doroga.
Gospod!
what should i do?...
eshe bolshe hotelos porevet. no uzhe proshlo.
ot misley prosto toshnit uzhe. takoe gniloe chuvstvo v grudi. zachem nam vobshe chuvstva. ya hochu bit bezchuvstvennoy. ne v tom smilse v kotorom eto zvuchit v russkom yazike. a v smisle EMOTIONLESS. ne lyubit, ne nenavidet.
pochemu eto proishodit. pochemu? skolko mozhno terzat sebya. ya ustala ot etogo mesta. zdes dlya menya odna doroga.
Gospod!
what should i do?...
plitka molochnogo shokolada s utra s goryachim chaem. eto ray na zemle!
As my conscience fell, A silly, little lie It didn’t mean much, But it lingers still In the corners of my mind
Still you call me to walk On the edge of this world, To spread my dreams and fly, But the future’s so far, My heart is so frail I think I’d rather stay inside
But You love me anyway, It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known ,You love me anyway Oh Lord, how You love me How You love me
It took more than my strength, To simply be still, To seek but never find All the reasons we change, The reasons I doubt , And why do loved ones have to die?
But You love me anyway, It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known, You love me anyway Oh Lord, how You love me
I am the thorn in Your crown, But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss But You love me anyway
See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground, Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face, With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace, And then alone in the night, I still called out for You So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
But You love me anyway Oh, God… how you love me
You love me anyway It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known You love me anyway Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me
Still you call me to walk On the edge of this world, To spread my dreams and fly, But the future’s so far, My heart is so frail I think I’d rather stay inside
But You love me anyway, It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known ,You love me anyway Oh Lord, how You love me How You love me
It took more than my strength, To simply be still, To seek but never find All the reasons we change, The reasons I doubt , And why do loved ones have to die?
But You love me anyway, It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known, You love me anyway Oh Lord, how You love me
I am the thorn in Your crown, But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss But You love me anyway
See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground, Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face, With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace, And then alone in the night, I still called out for You So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
But You love me anyway Oh, God… how you love me
You love me anyway It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known You love me anyway Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me
воскресенье, 20 ноября 2011
четверг, 17 ноября 2011
u menya sindrom navyazchivih idey. eto otnositsya obichno k pokupkam, no ne tolko. esli ya chego-to hochu, ya ne mogu zhdat. eto ne zdorovoe chuvstvo, ya znayu. no ono vsegda bivaet tak.
ya hochu, i hochu pryamo seychas. i pust u menya na schetu minus. i pust ono mne na fig ne nado s prakticheskoy tochki zreniya. i ya dazhe pozhaleyu tochno potom chto kupila, NO.
eto No ne dayot pokoya.
blin...
ya hochu, i hochu pryamo seychas. i pust u menya na schetu minus. i pust ono mne na fig ne nado s prakticheskoy tochki zreniya. i ya dazhe pozhaleyu tochno potom chto kupila, NO.
eto No ne dayot pokoya.
blin...
do you know there is a sparkling light inside of this feeling? like emotion beeing on top of the world. like your lungs longing desperately for air. like thousands of needles into your heart. all at once. it is a beautiful feeling. like you can fly and smile forever. like your soul blossoms. and you want to be washed away by the tenderness inside of you. the warm, sometimes hot tenderness. you can hardly breath. this is an amazing invention. You made it great. it is wonderful and powerful. no matter what they say, it is beautiful. and i don't regret it. i don't. it was worth it. i got to know what it is like. i never felt somethng like this before. i found out that i am capable to feel this way. never believed i could.
and now i'm going to buy myself a new phone...
and now i'm going to buy myself a new phone...
суббота, 12 ноября 2011
четверг, 10 ноября 2011
Byakusha is cool 
вторник, 08 ноября 2011